courtneymilan:

I’m sure some people will fight me on this, but for real–Viktor Nikiforov at the beginning of YOI is probably the closest depiction of my experience of depression that I’ve ever seen in any media, including anything I’ve ever created.

* lack of interest/emotion
* repeatedly forgetting important things (like promises to Yurio)
* depression is triggered strongly by success
* deals with it by deciding to–in a matter of hours–toss away a wildly successful career that is making him miserable to do something incredibly rewarding that his former colleagues think is a joke
* incredibly good at faking it
* ability to fake it only worsens depression
* not parsed by anyone around him as depression because, heh, he’s not SAD and he’s SUCCESSFUL and how could he be depressed

There’s a lot of talk about Yuuri’s mental health issues, and those are amazing, but Viktor starts off the show in what reads to me as a pretty deep depression. Episode 10 and 11, when he’s finally experiencing emotions again, and is grounded in the moments that he is in, instead of free-floating outside them, are incredibly meaningful to me.

It took me more than 30 years to understand that what happened to me was depression, and I so rarely see depression as I experience it portrayed anywhere, so…

TL;DR this show is extraordinary.